Happy Birthday to my Dad

I was out of town over the weekend which, I wish I could say helped the ever-present feeling of loss, but it did not, not really. My dad's birthday was last Saturday, July 31st, the 5th we've celebrated without him. I wonder when it will get easier...

We usually have a little family birthday party for him but this year was different so I tried to celebrate as best as I could...not much to do in St. Johns!

We ate dinner at a Mexican Food place-he loved Mexican Food and choices were limited in town but I think it was a decent effort.

I had also decided that in the tradition of my dad, I would: Spend money I didn't have on something I didn't really need; then my plan was to use it once or twice and store it where there isn't room. Dad was good at that...so, I bought a red and pinkish camera, my dad seemed to buy a lot of cameras! When I was younger, my dad bought me lots of things just because it was my favorite color-green at the time. I think he would have happily bought me a pink camera if I asked. And again, choices were limited in the Metropolis of St. Johns.

I think that the greatest thing during the day was being able to talk (via text) to my mom throughout the day. His birthday is still hard for her and even though she is (happily) married again, it is a comfort to me knowing how much she still misses and loves my dad and does the best she can each day. She tried to stay busy but circumstances being as they are, it was a rough day. I won't elaborate...

She's coping and is OK.

Last time we were visiting, my mom and I went to the cemetary and replaced some of the vases and flowers and fixed it up a bit. She went on his birthday to do the same again. Looks like she decorated and celebrated with him. I'm grateful for the picture...

If there is any doubt that my dad is missed and loved by everybody, especially my mom, there shouldn't be. To be able to still feel that love is a great gift to my dad year after year.

I did my best not be sad because a birthday should be a celebration of life and my dad loved the life he lived. I'm proud of the things he accomplished while in this life and everyday I am grateful for the things he is still doing in my life. So, Happy Birthday Dad! Was I sad, admittingly yes, but so very happy for the life that he lived and without a birthday to celebrate, there would be no dad...