Hmmm...

I really thought that at some point my blog would just be deleted. Surprise to find it still here...
maybe it's a sign!

You know, I really didn't enjoy 2012; now that it is over, I say good riddance!  I am so ready to move on...  I know there were good things but how sad is it that the bad things stand out so much more than the good?  Oh well...out with the old and in with the new...2013, here come the Lee's!

So much to do...

So much to do...
It's hard to remember what to do-
facebook, blog, or clean house...
So, I decided on one thing to do-
but I forgot what it was, so I haven't done anything.
:)

Braces for my boy

I never realized that what I thought was absolutely adorable about Jared was really going to be a big problem. I always loved the way he smiled and didn't even know for years that it was caused by an underbite. Silly me...

He slept in a chin strap for over a year and it seemed to help but not completely. He started growing and the wire was leaving a permanent indention in his cheeks so, that was that.

His grandpa is a dentist and has been keeping tabs on the situation. I guess it could cause a lot of problems down the road so the braces were an important step. As soon as his baby teeth fell out and the big guys came in enough, it was time...

Truth be told, he whined all weekend! I explained that it was so cool to have braces because he is the first 7 year old ever to have braces. He thought that was a pretty good deal for a while and would tell me: "I hate these braces but I do like being the first 7 year old to get them". But by the end of the weekend it was "I hate these braces and I don't even want to be the first 7 year old to have them!". Funny little guy...

It's only been 3 1/2 days and already his upper teeth have shifted so that they could come down over his lower teeth! Yay!!! He can almost close his back teeth again. He's looking forward to eating real food. I think that in a couple of days we will be able to take the wire out and then have the braces removed not too long after.

Happy Birthday to my Dad

I was out of town over the weekend which, I wish I could say helped the ever-present feeling of loss, but it did not, not really. My dad's birthday was last Saturday, July 31st, the 5th we've celebrated without him. I wonder when it will get easier...

We usually have a little family birthday party for him but this year was different so I tried to celebrate as best as I could...not much to do in St. Johns!

We ate dinner at a Mexican Food place-he loved Mexican Food and choices were limited in town but I think it was a decent effort.

I had also decided that in the tradition of my dad, I would: Spend money I didn't have on something I didn't really need; then my plan was to use it once or twice and store it where there isn't room. Dad was good at that...so, I bought a red and pinkish camera, my dad seemed to buy a lot of cameras! When I was younger, my dad bought me lots of things just because it was my favorite color-green at the time. I think he would have happily bought me a pink camera if I asked. And again, choices were limited in the Metropolis of St. Johns.

I think that the greatest thing during the day was being able to talk (via text) to my mom throughout the day. His birthday is still hard for her and even though she is (happily) married again, it is a comfort to me knowing how much she still misses and loves my dad and does the best she can each day. She tried to stay busy but circumstances being as they are, it was a rough day. I won't elaborate...

She's coping and is OK.

Last time we were visiting, my mom and I went to the cemetary and replaced some of the vases and flowers and fixed it up a bit. She went on his birthday to do the same again. Looks like she decorated and celebrated with him. I'm grateful for the picture...

If there is any doubt that my dad is missed and loved by everybody, especially my mom, there shouldn't be. To be able to still feel that love is a great gift to my dad year after year.

I did my best not be sad because a birthday should be a celebration of life and my dad loved the life he lived. I'm proud of the things he accomplished while in this life and everyday I am grateful for the things he is still doing in my life. So, Happy Birthday Dad! Was I sad, admittingly yes, but so very happy for the life that he lived and without a birthday to celebrate, there would be no dad...

A year of change

So, my most recent actual post was nearly a year ago. Hmmm...how things can change in just a short year. I don't think that anything in my life is the same as it was a year ago. I don't know who, if anyone will read this but I suppose I'll be as vague as possible if ever. I'd like to say that if you ever want details, you will have to read my journal after I die, but I'm not so good at that either!

I often feel like my mind has taken a vacation; not really but I feel like my head is in all sorts of different places these days. Between my mom getting married again & the stress of family matters relating to that and my own personal struggles with desperately wanting another baby and the possible miscarriages (a women just knows), I have forgotten what it's like to feel normal but something tells me that I used to really like it!

My mom was re-married in November to a very nice man named Hal. It's always difficult when a widowed mother finds love again and actually wants to get married and I struggled with it at first. I can't really explain to those once close to me how I know but I have had the very distinct impression that this was okay with my dad so I let it go and decided to give Hal a chance. All I can say, is that I am very glad I did because it is the greatest thing to see my mom smile again. It had been nearly 4 years since my dad passed away at the time (nearly 4 1/2 years now) and those were very long, sad years for her. I know that my mom will never stop loving my dad...never, she has told me so and I believe her with all my heart...they were sealed in The Temple and the wonderful thing is that Hal understands that. I think that for me, this really helps.

I went to my mom's house a couple of weekends ago for the first time since the wedding and I have to admit that I was a bit apprehensive because I didn't quite know what to expect being that another man lives there now. There was nothing different...no pictures had been removed, no momentos had been put away, no different furniture; there was just one more wedding picture on the wedding wall. Sometimes change can be good...but unfortunately, it has not all been good because it has left me feeling very alone and separated from my siblings. That's all that I will say about that.

Let's see, the baby thing. I never thought that I would only have two children and I still don't. But with my health, it seems to have been one thing after another (according to my doctor who I don't see anymore) and I have gone through 3 years of testing because of some weirdness in my kidneys. Finally, after a biopsy last summer, I had had enough because the diagnosis was the same as three years ago-"yep, there's a problem but you'll live"...

Off and on during those years we had decided that maybe it was time for another child but it was not meant to be and then the testing would start up again. So, it has been a very trying year since the biopsy because we know that there is another spirit that we are supposed to have in our family and he just isn't coming. I believe that I have had at least two early miscarriages recently which has only compounded the frustration.

... but when I really stop to think about it, if these two little boys that I have are the only two that I get to raise in this life, how grateful I am that it is these two little boys. I am so thankful that they chose me to be their mother and though they are a handful, they are the most loving, sensitive, and sweet handfuls that there ever was!

So, changes or not, life goes on and we adapt. I guess that it what it is time to do. The kids are growing, Stephen got promoted, and I bought myself a Wii Fit and a Cricut Gypsy and now I'm on a mission to fix my crazy head! Wish me luck...

I still have a blog?

What do you know, I still have a blog! I've never been able to get used to blogging but maybe if I do, it will ease some of my nuttiness!

The Pooping Humpty Dumpty

This statue used to be down Main Street in Mesa. Stephen always called it the "Pooping Humpty". I don't think that it looks like that, though. But anyway, now it's near the water feature in front of the Cinemark at Riverview. The kids think he's so cool and just had to have a picture with "Pooping Humpty".

The little gal here is our little Madi. She's my niece; we babysit her everyday so she's just one of us and we love her.

The longest week!

My sister-in-law, Julia, and I started this little deal to do boutiques. It's called Lee Lee's Goodies-(www.leeleesgoodies.blogspot.com- check it out!)-so I (we) spent the last two weeks getting ready for our first official boutique that took place over the weekend. We did something like it last summer so it's kind of our second gig. Anyway, I was up til 1 or 2 every night and up bright and early the next morning at 6ish. That is soooooooooo not me. I have never been more exhausted in my whole life-mind you, I served a mission and I know exhaustion! So finally the boutique came and went and then I went to sleep. I feel like I've slept for 2 days now but I've probably been awake, not sure. But when I did finally wake up, maybe yesterday or sometime, the exhaustion settled in my chest and I think if I keep coughing, my lung is going to fall out!

Anyway, then after my nap yesterday, we went to dinner at Stephen's parents (which we usually do on Sunday) with his family. This really freak thing happened-James was going down the slide in the back yard, getting ready to anyway, and the slide broke-came crashing down. The poor little guy came down with it! I think he hit his head and hurt his back but hasn't seemed to be too bad. He had a headache yesterday and his neck hurt a little this morning. There sure was a lot of hullaballoo about that slide falling~that didn't help my long week much.

So, here it is Monday and I have woken up enough to look around the house that I have neglected for the past week...can I just say that I'm in for another long week? I think that I'll just go back to sleep...

Here's to Terri...

My 70 year old neighbor passed away yesterday. It's odd. I believe she had a heart attack several hours before she was found by her grandson. It's a sad thing because she left a couple of children and a grandchild or two and they'll probably miss her. I really don't feel sad-I just feel sort of happy for her. Of course I'm sorry for those few she left behind, that's always hard no matter who you are.

I've been thinking a lot about it because what I think is so sad is how she lived her life. She was probably one of the most miserable people in the world! She joined the church several years ago and has wanted nothing to do with it or the people for a while now. I know that there were some issues with people that kept her away but she just didn't understand enough about it. She blamed all of her problems on other things and people. She spent her life watching after her son. Most of us would do that but her son is nearly 50, in and out of jail, constantly being evicted, selling and posessing, and a very mean drunk. In the last few years she had taken to drinking heavily and she's a pretty mean drunk, too. Due to some unfortunate incidences in the neighborhood, we took out an order of protection against her [temper] and her son.

The thing is, I know she wasn't happy at all. I had felt lately that it was time to bury the hatchet and I had planned too. She had a birthday in February and I was going to pay her a visit. But the day before, some law enforcement stopped by my house looking for her and I got scared so I didn't go. Perhaps that was a missed opportunity?? Maybe she was nice afterall...

So I've been thinking about this and as a tribute to her, I decided that I would never be like her. I think, looking back on her life, that she'd agree that it is a fitting tribute. She died with nothing but misery, the way she lived. She had very little family and I doubt she had many friends. Who will come to her funeral? Will there even be a funeral? What will happen to her house and possessions since she was so alone? I want to live my life to make other people happy, I don't want to ever be alone and have to blame my sad times on others. I hope that those whom she did leave behind will be at peace knowing that she has another chance to fix those things she did in this life.

So-here's to Terri. I hope she can forgive me for not being a better neighbor. And I hope that now, she knows who she is.

Just rambling...

So, my sister has a blog and she just writes things, even if she doesn't have any pictures. In my attempt to not become a "blogger", I've realized that I truly am not. But, I might as well write something.

I really like the look of my blog today. My sister, Shannon, made it all pretty for me. You should see her blog, it's really neat. http://harrisfamily2001.blogspot.com/

I'm getting ready to do a boutique with my sister-in-law Julia. We've done one before so we decided to make a go at it. We're calling our boutique stuff "Lee Lee's Goodies" and she even put together a blog. There's nothing on there though. But watch for that though because we are making lots of stuff. http://leeleesgoodies.blogspot.com/

I lost 4 piano students this week. I always feel sad when that happens, especially these kids. I've had the family for nearly 5 years. Hopefully they can come back, this economy just isn't good. Good luck to them!

Here's something cool. I found my old friend Rachel Nichols on Facebook. We were best friends in our college days. I'd call her my "soul sister"...good times, good times! It's been fun to see her again and catch up a bit. She was one of my bridesmaids at my wedding and honestly, haven't seen her since then. That was nearly 10 years ago. The funny thing is that she has lived within about 10 miles of me all this time! We're so silly!

More goofy rambling tomorrow or next month sometime. We'll see...

These

are my boys

in their

truest

forms...

Here's my cuties on Easter Sunday. We didn't get a good family picture because Stephen changed too fast. There's one of me with the boys but as you can see, I didn't post it. Hmmm...wonder why?

My muscle man

I just ran across this video of my muscle man, James. Jared & I laughed so hard that I had to share it. The pull-ups add just the right effect if you ask me. Enjoy!

The Blankie

I have a problem with taking on too many projects. This wasn't one of them but everything else going on at the time was. In the end, I had to put it together in two days with the tying on the third. I had been printing the pictures and gathering messages for a while before though-thank goodness! So, without further adieu...here it is...

There's more to the quilt and hopefully I will have more pictures e-mailed to me so that I can post them.

This was the final block at the bottom of the quilt.

I can post a picture!

Look what I figured out to do! Thanks Shannon! This was our 2007 family picture but one of my favorites. Of course the kids are bigger now and now that I know how to do it, I can upload more fun pictures of them. Not too many of me though...

Wanna be my friend?

This blog thing is going to take a while to learn so bear with me. My sister, Shannon, was here over the weekend for a family reunion of sorts and she signed me up on facebook, too. That's a crazy thing!!! Wanna be my friend? That'll take me a while to figure out too.

My mom turned 60 last week so we had a little birthday party/reunion in Safford, AZ. As I mentioned, my sister, Shannon, flew in from GA and my little sister, Peggy, came in from FL with her husband and new little addition, Jonah Allen (cute little guy). My oldest brother, Jim, blessed Jonah in my mom's ward in Safford on Sunday and he bapized his little daughter, Lindsey, the night before so it was a nice gathering.

I made this great little blankie for my mom's b-day present. I printed pictures of all my siblings (there are 11 of us in total) as well as all the grandkids and some older family pictures onto fabric and sewed them into a lovely little purple blanket. Most of my brothers and sisters sent me a personal message to add to their blocks, I think it was a neat thing. Turned out really nice...my sisters, Shannon & Amber, helped tie it before we went down to the reunion. I'll post a picture of it soon.

Now we're home and it's so nice to sleep in my own bed-I really love my bed but it would require it's own posting to explain why, it's a really nice bed-and then I woke up this morning with a terrible chest cold. Nice...

So, my question is: Is this how you blog? Just write stuff? I'm not sure of the protocol yet but just in case anyone was wondering about this stuff...there you go.

I am not a blogger!

So, contratry to what I have declared over and over, I have created a blog. My plan is to use it as a marketing tool for my handmade invitations but that still requires some thought. So...I reckon I'll post a few pictures and say a few things here and there but you will not see a post in a few months declaring that I am eating my words because "I am now a blogger!". No way...

Here's why-one specific reason. I hate the word "BLOG". Why give something that has the potential to be so fun such a crude word. It sounds like you are burping or getting ready to barf-I just don't get it. Despite that, it has somehow become a word that is a noun-"I have a blog" "My blog..." as well as a verb-"I am blogging", "Do you blog?" and also an adjective to describe this obscure SPOT-"BlogSpot". So that's why I don't "BLOG". However, I now have a blog...